Dementor in my Room

For those of you who have seen or are a Harry Potter nerd like me, then you should catch the reference to the title of this post. If you didn't catch it then let me tell you: 

A Dementor is a non-being^[1] and Dark creature, considered one of the foulest to inhabit the world. Dementors feed off human happiness, and thus cause depression and despair to anyone near them. 
http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Dementor

DEMENTOR SUCKING A SOUL >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

As of late, I've felt as though there's been a dementor following me around. I feel sad ALL the time. At first, I thought the solution was to just ignore the pain and try to think of happy things, but how can I think of puppies and rainbows when all I feel is a black shadow hovering over me. Now that's not fair to the happy thoughts that are just doing their job! So whether this new, demented, form of treatment I'm trying is good for me or not, I've decided to just let the sadness flood my body. I'm surrounding myself with music that makes me feel like crying and reading the most depressing quotes, such as these: 



Drowning myself in this darkness, for some reason, isn't making me dig a deeper hole (that I'm metaphorically in), but it makes me want to try to find a way out of here. And I will keep believing in these: 

     

& for those of you who are feeling sad like me, please don't be afraid to let the sadness in, just don't let it control you. You will be okay and if you aren't, then it's not the end!

Press Play

I am currently 2 days away from move in day! After two years at community college and living with my parents, I am moving to an apartment with two friends and am ready to start this new adventure! I've waited for this day for so long. *Background: I went to a boarding school through high school so I didn't live with them for a LONG time and having to go from being independent to living with my parents again was tough to say the least.* I've felt for a long time that my life has been on hold, if that makes any sense? I don't want to compare my life to a movie, although I constantly do, but I feel like this is the part of the film where the main character is just living a mediocre life. Nothing exciting has happened to her just yet, but by the way the music is playing, you know that it's coming. I can hear my music and I know a new beginning is around the corner. That being said, this is part dos, as I am currently in my room reading, I look up and see a HUGE mess. I'm not OCD or anything, but I do like to be pretty neat and this is just stressing me out. I should be packing, but I have so much on my mind I need to write it out. The screen of my life just needs to turn black and begin a new one. That's not too much to ask. Now does the picture make perfect sense?!

Why Aren't You Falling in Love with Me?!?

Okay, I understand for Ryan Gosling it's a little hard for him to admit his true feelings for me because well he doesn't want me to feel the pressure of having to be in the spotlight. I understand and I love him for that! I know that when it's the right time we WILL be together and NO ONE can stop us. But if you're just a regular 'ole average Joe then you should have NO difficulty in just falling in love with me. I don't see what the big deal is? Haha let me explain myself a little bit...

I am a 20 year old female who just wants to find her soul mate! Who doesn't right? But what if I already know who he is?! "How do you know that?" you ask. I know that because I just know okay! Haha I'm not a psycho I promise. It's just I've gotten to the point where yeah I know I'm young blah blah and I don't need to find Mr. Future My Husband right now blah blah but I swear to you (whoever is crazy enough to read past the first line) that somewhere out in this universe, hopefully about 5-10 miles away, the man I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with is just walking around eating a bagel. And I ask him..."WHY THE HECK ARE YOU JUST EATING THAT BAGEL?!?" Come find me! I'm right here typing about you! It makes me CRAZY mad just thinking about it. 

Okay so back to "who is this person you know you're supposed to marry?" business. Technically, I don't know who it is really, but I know who I want it to be. And no it's not Ryan Gosling crazy pants. I know him. In my head at least. It's the person who I thought up who represents all I want and all I need. This might sound a little picky, but you can't settle right? I don't know. Things haven't been going the way I want them to when it comes to relationships. I just have to see how everything turns out right?

I HOPE NOT.

P.S. To any guys who might be reading this. Put the bagel down and take notes.

Pilot

I realize now that I'm probably writing to no one but myself, but it's definitely a way to express myself. I know that sounds so corny...blah blah blah writing for expression, but I didn't know how real it was 'til now. I have things to say, scratch that, I have A LOT of things to say. I just need an outlet, "how to get my thoughts out in the world without being too loud?" (That's me saying it outloud btw). Let me tell you...this is just the beginning. 

This first post is called "Pilot" for a reason (which reminds me, why is a first episode of a new show called the pilot?) The purpose is to introduce the characters so here we go...let me begin with my leading man, Kit Harrington, Ryan Gosling, Taylor Kitsch, OKAY FINE, they aren't in the first couple episodes per se, but I'll definitely mention them! So my name is Greysi [GRAY-see], I am currently a college student going through so many new experiences I don't even know where to start. I have problems left and right and up and down for that matter, but mostly they're all just made up in my head. Hey, maybe I'll work them out through here? A revelation. Okay, so I'm a little weird. There's nothing wrong with that, but you'll see...we're gonna have fun (as I'm saying this to no one). 

                                                               (fitting in SO many manys!)


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